Gay and Transgender Issues in the Workplace

Thousands of people around the globe are now receiving the message that my exciting new corporate resource for managers on gay and transgender workplace issues is available. If you'd like to learn more, please go to www.brian-mcnaught.com/guide. If you'd like to actually see the new product, write to Dan Brown at db@dbinteractive.com. If you know anyone who might find such a resource of good use, please share this information with them.
What follows is a couple more questions and answers from the new Web site that provide counsel to managers facing workplace issues for which they seek guidance.

SO, WHAT IF.....?

the office of Human Resources is of no help to me?

 

Do NOT assume that because a person works in Human Resources (HR) or in Diversity that he or she is knowledgeable or skilled on all issues of diversity. Do NOT assume that every person in HR or in Diversity is even sensitive or sympathetic to every issue. As in every department, HR and Diversity employees reflect their education, religious beliefs, culture, family dynamics, and their exposure to people different from themselves.

 

Do NOT assume that an initial lack of support or interest means that you don’t have a potential ally. Most people in HR have their heart in the right place. They want to create a workplace that feels safe and productive for everyone.

 

DO tell the director of HR of your needs and of your experience of a lack of support on the issue. Ask him or her for their opinion on the attitudes in the department and suggest diversity training on gay and transgender issues for the entire staff. Recommend that they contact the Human Rights Campaign (www.hrc.org) in the United States, Stonewall (www.stonewall.org.uk) in the United Kingdom, or other human resource professionals in other parts of your company or in other companies. They can also contact me at brian@brian-mcnaught.com.

 

DO take action if you do not get a satisfactory response from your Office of Human Resources. Speak to your manager and to the company’s global director of HR. If necessary, contact a member of the Executive Steering Committee. The lack of sophistication and support on these issues in the Human Resources department will have a negative impact on the company’s ability to attract and retain the best and brightest employees, its productivity, and its marketability to all consumers.

 

I manage gay or transgender people in a country with hostile cultural attitudes on the issues?

 

Do NOT focus on changing the local culture. Focus instead on making sure that within the office, the atmosphere feels safe to the gay or transgender employees, and that they trust you understand the challenges they face outside of the office walls.

 

Do NOT allow the hostility of the local culture to intimidate you. While you may be a guest in their country or a native, you are also a representative of your corporation in that country. Your job is to guarantee that the corporation’s values are clearly expressed and realized in all business dealings.

 

Do NOT tolerate hostile comments from clients regarding gay or transgender issues. All persons connected with your company need to see you as a strong, clear voice of support.

 

DO understand that the hostility of the local culture toward gay, lesbian, and bisexual people is to homosexual behavior, not homosexual orientation or identity. Your company takes no position on homosexual behavior, anymore than it does on divorce, inter-racial marriage, the one “true” religion, worship practices, or the role of women in local marriages. It does, though, protect from discrimination persons because of their status (orientation and/or identity) as gay, transgender, divorced, inter-racially married, Muslim, Christian, or female. There is no conflict between local legal or social practices and the company’s policy of valuing diversity.

 

DO provide diversity training and educational resources on gay and transgender issues to your staff. Disseminate all statements of support from corporate headquarters.

 

DO help create a local chapter of the company’s gay and transgender Employee Resource Group (ERG) even if all of its local members identify as heterosexual. Sponsor events on the topic and network with the gay and transgender ERGs of other corporations in the area.

 

DO remember that your success in creating a safe and welcoming environment in which gay and transgender employees feel valued should not be measured by how many gay or transgender people come out. Given the hostility of the local culture, it is not likely that many gay or transgender people from that culture will feel comfortable identifying themselves. Coming out is more likely to happen with gay and transgender employees from supportive cultures who happen to be working in your office. Nevertheless, always assume that there is a gay or transgender person in your office, whether or not they self-identify.

 

DO consider sending your gay or transgender staff members and heterosexual Diversity and Human Resource professionals to the annual workplace conference of Out and Equal (www.outandequal.org) that is held in the United States. It provides education and the opportunity for networking to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and heterosexual employees from around the world. Similar conferences are held in different countries. Ask your local gay and transgender ERG leadership for guidance in finding such resources.

The new web page that provides guidance to corporate managers on gay and transgender workplace issues is now available for viewing. The initial response has been outstanding. If you'd like to learn more, please go to www.brian-mcnaught.com/guide.
Following are a couple more of the frequently-asked questions and the guidance that reflects input from a global team of advisors.

we need training and someone refuses to participate?

 

Do NOT underestimate the enormous emotional, psychological, spiritual, and political significance of this issue for everyone in the office. Handle with care.

 

Do NOT communicate a lack of awareness or sensitivity to the feelings of everyone on your staff, but do not coddle behaviors that undermine the values of the corporation.

 

Do NOT accommodate a threat to office cohesion in the name of personal moral values. If you allow an employee to absent him or herself from diversity training on gay and transgender issues without ramifications, you communicate that the company’s values are negotiable and you set a precedent for the behavior of the staff on all other company initiatives.

 

Do NOT be afraid to confront bias on gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender issues that are couched in religious views anymore than you would avoid confronting racism or sexism that is couched in statements about “freedom of religion.” The company respects the diversity of religious views but does not embrace any one religion’s doctrines. The company seeks to create an environment in which people of varying religious views can work comfortably together as a team. Consider providing training on the diversity of religious views.

 

DO ask for help from your Diversity and Human Resources professional. Ask them for the company’s policy on mandatory attendance.

 

DO be consistent. If you have not mandated training on sexual harassment, do not mandate attendance at diversity training on gay issues. If you have mandated training on sexual harassment or other issues of diversity, do not make training on gay and transgender issues optional.

 

DO communicate your unequivocal commitment to valuing diversity and to creating a workplace in which all employees feel safe and valued.

 

DO talk one-on-one with the employee who refuses to attend the training to see if you can eliminate any preconceived notions they have of the training. Provide them literature about the trainer and the program. Provide them feedback to the training from others who have heard the presentation. Ask them to come and sit with you for the first hour. Assure them that their religious values will not be assaulted.

 

DO explain that the entire office is attending the training as a team and that if they chose to absent themselves from the activity it reflects their lack of interest in the team. Such behavior makes them less attractive for positions of leadership.

 

DO explain that the training will outline which behaviors at work are considered supportive and welcoming of gay and transgender colleagues and which behaviors are considered unwelcoming and forbidden by corporate policy. Make clear that if the employee chooses to absent him or herself from the training and then inadvertently engages in behaviors that are considered hostile, that he or she cannot use ignorance or lack of awareness of the policy as an excuse and that action will be taken.

 

legal action is threatened?

 

Do NOT say anything more about the issue to the person threatening legal action. Immediately refer the matter to the Legal department and to the Human Resources office. Inform the person in question that you are unable, for legal reasons, to discuss the issue further.

 

Do NOT change your behavior toward the person threatening legal action. Keep the issue separate. Focus on the corporate ideals of teamwork that value diversity.

 

DO make clear to your colleagues your intention to maintain office cohesiveness. Discourage any discussion of the issue, explaining that it has been referred to corporate legal counsel.

 

In the next week, I'll be sending to a small group of diversity directors, the first invitation to access our exciting new web page that provides guidance to managers who seek cultural competence on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender workplace issues.  I couldn't be happier with, or more proud of, the joint effort to create this very useful, cutting edge new resource. In the major part of the program, I offer guidance to the thirty-four most commonly asked questions on gay and transgender workplace issues. What follows is a couple more of those questions and responses. To learn more about this web site, please write to me at brian@brian-mcnaught.com.

SO, WHAT IF....?

a gay or transgender employee wants to be out and I don’t think that it’s safe?

 

Do NOT assume that what would feel unsafe for you would necessarily feel unsafe for your colleague. Tell him or her of your concern and your reasons for judging the environment to be unsafe. Ask for their assessment of the environment.

 

Do NOT make it more difficult for them to come out by suggesting that if they do so, “You’re on your own.” Instead, tell him or her that whatever they decide to do, you will back them up.

 

Do NOT assume that they want you to tell other people for them. Ask them if there is anything you can do to make it easier, including telling others for them.

 

Do NOT say “I told you so,” if things work out poorly for the colleague who is coming out. They are being harassed because of their status, not as a result of anything they are doing wrong. It is not their fault if others respond unprofessionally and in violation of corporate policies and ideals.

 

DO proactively address the conditions which prompt you to feel that it is not safe for this employee, or any employee, to be out at work.

 

DO ask for guidance from your Human Resources professional and Diversity specialist. Tell them of your concerns. See if they share your views. Come up with a strategy that supports the decision of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender colleague and promote an inclusive climate for all employees.

 

DO your best to create a safer environment by communicating clearly the company’s expectations of every employee to value diversity. Be clear of what that means in day-to-day behaviors. Tell them that such support of their gay or transgender colleague is expected inside and outside of the office, when on company business, and always with clients.

 

DO put the gay or transgender colleague in touch with the gay and transgender Employee Resource Group (ERG) for support. Encourage him or her to contact the Human Resources or your Diversity specialist for information on sources of support outside of the company.

 

DO provide diversity training on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues for your staff.

 

a gay or transgender employee tells a gay or transgender joke or uses prohibited language?

 

Do NOT encourage the behavior by laughing at the joke or indicating that the language is acceptable. Treat the situation exactly as you would if the joke or offensive language was coming from the mouth of a heterosexual or a non-transgender person.

 

Do NOT accept that the gay or transgender person telling the joke or using objectionable language, such as “fag,” “dyke,” “queer,” “homo,” “queen,” or “tranny” has license to make fun of him or herself. Their language undermines office cohesion, confuses heterosexual colleagues, and offends other gay and transgender people and those who love them. Their behavior does not represent the feelings of the company’s gay and transgender Employee Resource Group, even if it is coming from a member or officer of the ERG. Some gay and transgender people are immature and unsophisticated. Some suffer from internalized homophobia or transphobia. Being gay or transgender does not give them permission to defy the company’s efforts to value diversity.

 

DO speak up in such situations to express your discomfort and disappointment. Take the lead in showing others that this behavior or language is not acceptable.

 

DO pull the gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person aside and tell him or her what about their behavior is unacceptable and why: “It gives license to others to behave the same way and it creates a hostile working environment for others.”

 

DO report the incident to your Human Resources or Diversity specialist. Make sure that you have their support so that you don’t hear from them later that the gay or transgender person felt discriminated against or “put down.”

 

One of the most commonly asked questions I get in my work as a corporate trainer on gay and transgender issues is, "How do I help myself or others reconcile personal moral values with the company's support of gay issues?"

Here's how I respond:

There is an important difference between our beliefs and our behaviors.

You are free to believe whatever you want about homosexuality or any other issue, such as racial equality, the role of women, or the supremacy of a particular religious tenet, but you can’t impose those beliefs on your colleagues at work. Doing so violates corporate policy.

As an employee, you are paid to manifest the company’s values. The company values the diversity of its workforce and seeks to create an environment that is safe and productive for everyone. It has policies that support its gay and lesbian employees just as it does its heterosexual employees because it wants to attract and retain the best and brightest talent.

Some employees may feel that their religious beliefs are not being supported by the company’s policy that prohibits discrimination based upon sexual orientation. They may feel that providing domestic partner benefits is sanctioning same-sex relationships. They may feel that being asked to attend diversity classes on gay issues is forcing them to show support for something they find to be personally offensive or immoral. They may feel that the company providing money to gay employee organizations for educational or social events is showing unnecessary support for a “lifestyle” that has nothing to do with the company’s bottom line.

All of these feelings are understandable. Acting on those feelings at work is unacceptable.

Most employees have some feelings of disagreement, disappointment, or even disgust with some company policy or practice, as well as with some of their colleagues. Some employees, for instance, object to the donations made by the company to political parties. Some people feel that women should not give orders to men. Others object to sharing an office with a person of another race, culture, or faith. There are employees who oppose divorce and question providing health care benefits to remarried colleagues. Other employees are upset by the company’s disregard for their strict vegetarian beliefs and behaviors. And some employees find abhorrent conservative religious beliefs. That’s diversity, and the company manages its increasingly diverse workforce by minimizing behavioral conflict while maximizing the bottom line, which is profit.

So, feel the feelings, but choose the behavior. It’s okay to wish that a colleague wasn’t gay, just as it’s okay to wish that a colleague wasn’t Muslim, Jewish, or Christian. Other employees or executives could have negative feelings about you too. But the company insists that as long as you work for them, you will treat the gay employee, or the one who is Muslim, female, divorced, a meat eater or a conservative Christian or Jew with professional respect, courtesy, and as a full and equal member of the team. The company requires all of us to behave in such a way as to optimize the productivity of everyone on the team.

And, while we are free to believe whatever we choose to believe, we all need to be aware that our beliefs impact our “music,” or our day-to-day interactions with others. Our ability to effectively manage employees about whom we have negative feelings is fully dependent upon our cognizance of own beliefs, and our skill at overcoming our impulse to be disapproving, disinterested, or disengaged. While you may not approve of homosexuality, it’s essential that you do nothing at work to communicate those feelings in any way to anyone. Doing so undermines the company’s values and your value to the company.

I have heard horror stories of managers saying to others at work that homosexuality is a sin, publicly speculating with disdain whether an employee is gay, making decisions about promotions based upon a person’s sexual orientation or “lifestyle,” laughing at or repeating offensive gay jokes, and ridiculing the mannerisms or attire of someone suspected of being gay. All of these behaviors are a violation of the company’s code of conduct and should be immediately reported to the office of Human Resources.

But the more common negative everyday experiences of gay, lesbian, and bisexual employees involves the behavior of avoidance by their manager and colleagues, of being shut out of the social interactions of the company. Especially in companies that have policies and procedures that seek to attract and retain gay employees, the behaviors which make the employee feel less safe and valued are the ones that make them feel marginalized. Sometimes it’s the awareness that they are the only ones not asked on Monday morning how their weekend was spent. Sometimes it’s never being asked about the photograph of their partner in their work area. Generally, it’s the feeling that they are invisible.

Avoidance is not an effective business strategy. It is a negative behavior. Managers, even those with conflicting moral beliefs, need to positively engage, not sidestep those with whom they differ. Such efforts can make a big difference in ensuring the environment at work feels welcoming, and therefore more productive.

Practical Suggestions:

• Understand the difference between beliefs and behaviors.
• Be aware of your feelings and take an honest inventory of your behavior.
• Avoidance is a behavior.
• Always assume that there is a gay person, or a family member or friend of a gay person, in your presence.
• Treat everyone equally, personally and professionally.
• Use the words “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” and “transgender” respectfully.
• Do not laugh at or repeat anti-gay comments or jokes.
• Immediately correct inappropriate behaviors on the part of others.
• Sponsor diversity training on gay issues.
• Attend functions sponsored by the gay employee group.
• Use inclusive language at work, such as asking if people have partners rather than if they are married.
• Bring gay people into social conversations.
• Sit with a gay person in the cafeteria, or invite him or her to sit with you.
• Create an environment in which people can safely tell you that they are gay.

If you have comments about these thoughts or further questions on gay and transgender issues in the workplace, I look forward to hearing from you at brian@brian-mcnaught.com or visit my web site at www.brian-mcnaught.com.

      In our attempt to create a safe and productive work environment for ourselves, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people have asked their employers to bar discrimination, provide domestic partner benefits, establish an employee resource group (ERG), and mandate diversity training. The latter is the only reliable means of bridging the chasm between corporate policy and corporate culture.

     Heterosexuals, for the most part, feel unprepared to be proactively supportive of their company's efforts to value diversity. The best they feel they can do is to refrain from engaging in behaviors that would be considered hostile. They don't know how, nor feel comfortable, engaging their gay or transgender colleagues in a positive way. Their strategy is avoidance. They don't ask their gay colleagues about their weekend plans, nor question who is in the photograph on the desk. Thus, gay people generally feel marginalized at work, even in companies with a 100% rating on the Corporate Equality Index from the Human Rights Campaign in the U.S., and from Stonewall in the U.K.

     Diversity training on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender workplace issues, which is mandated and not optional, is the only reliable means of empowering heterosexual colleagues to be allies, even those with conflicting moral values. Such training puts a face on the issue and provides understanding of who gay and transgender employees are, why they feel the need to come out at work, how their doing so is related to the bottom line of competition, and what language and behaviors are considered inappropriate and what are considered welcoming. The goal of such training is creating cultural competency.

     But cultural competency is a two-way street. It's hostile and counterproductive to expect that heterosexuals become sensitive to the needs of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender employees without having the same expectations of gay and transgender people toward their heterosexual peers. Too often, bitterness is created along with compliance to company policies because no effort has been made on the part of the gay and transgender ERG or the diversity office to become aware of the challenges which face heterosexual employees in becoming allies.

     The recent discussions around inclusion of transgender protections in the Employment Non-Discrimination ACT (ENDA) is a prime example of cultural incompentency on the part of the gay and transgender community. While the general population has had many years to become knowledgeable about homosexuality, the same is not true of gender identity, and certainly not of gender expression. Most heterosexuals, including those who work in corporate human resource offices, don't have a clue what the "T" of GLBT really means. The letter "T" was added to the acronym by the gay community out of good will but without much good thought. Little if any education has been provided about the full spectrum represented by the "T," and, as a result, even most gay people feel uncomfortable explaining its meaning.

     I've been privileged to work as an educator on gay issues in corporations and colleges for 34 years, and on transgender issues for the past 20. My work is now with senior executives across the globe. I know from that experience that good education changes perspectives and behaviors. The overwhelming majority of heterosexuals want to do the right thing at work. They want to be team players and support the company's initiatives to truly value diversity so that they might succeed in attracting and retaining the best and brightest employees and compete effectively in the global marketplace. But until they get the chance to get past their fear of the unknown, they feel as lost as any of us do when we're in a foreign country and don't know the language.

     Today, many of those heterosexual executives in companies around the world, are receiving the education they need to proactively support their gay and lesbian colleagues. But their understanding of transgender issues is at least ten years behind. Before they can be expected to do more than begrudgingly fumble through conversations on the topic, they need far more education. Not to understand and accommodate that is a sign of our cultural incompetence.