Gay and Transgender Issues in the Workplace

Thousands of people around the globe are now receiving the message that my exciting new corporate resource for managers on gay and transgender workplace issues is available. If you'd like to learn more, please go to www.brian-mcnaught.com/guide. If you'd like to actually see the new product, write to Dan Brown at db@dbinteractive.com. If you know anyone who might find such a resource of good use, please share this information with them.
What follows is a couple more questions and answers from the new Web site that provide counsel to managers facing workplace issues for which they seek guidance.

SO, WHAT IF.....?

the office of Human Resources is of no help to me?

 

Do NOT assume that because a person works in Human Resources (HR) or in Diversity that he or she is knowledgeable or skilled on all issues of diversity. Do NOT assume that every person in HR or in Diversity is even sensitive or sympathetic to every issue. As in every department, HR and Diversity employees reflect their education, religious beliefs, culture, family dynamics, and their exposure to people different from themselves.

 

Do NOT assume that an initial lack of support or interest means that you don’t have a potential ally. Most people in HR have their heart in the right place. They want to create a workplace that feels safe and productive for everyone.

 

DO tell the director of HR of your needs and of your experience of a lack of support on the issue. Ask him or her for their opinion on the attitudes in the department and suggest diversity training on gay and transgender issues for the entire staff. Recommend that they contact the Human Rights Campaign (www.hrc.org) in the United States, Stonewall (www.stonewall.org.uk) in the United Kingdom, or other human resource professionals in other parts of your company or in other companies. They can also contact me at brian@brian-mcnaught.com.

 

DO take action if you do not get a satisfactory response from your Office of Human Resources. Speak to your manager and to the company’s global director of HR. If necessary, contact a member of the Executive Steering Committee. The lack of sophistication and support on these issues in the Human Resources department will have a negative impact on the company’s ability to attract and retain the best and brightest employees, its productivity, and its marketability to all consumers.

 

I manage gay or transgender people in a country with hostile cultural attitudes on the issues?

 

Do NOT focus on changing the local culture. Focus instead on making sure that within the office, the atmosphere feels safe to the gay or transgender employees, and that they trust you understand the challenges they face outside of the office walls.

 

Do NOT allow the hostility of the local culture to intimidate you. While you may be a guest in their country or a native, you are also a representative of your corporation in that country. Your job is to guarantee that the corporation’s values are clearly expressed and realized in all business dealings.

 

Do NOT tolerate hostile comments from clients regarding gay or transgender issues. All persons connected with your company need to see you as a strong, clear voice of support.

 

DO understand that the hostility of the local culture toward gay, lesbian, and bisexual people is to homosexual behavior, not homosexual orientation or identity. Your company takes no position on homosexual behavior, anymore than it does on divorce, inter-racial marriage, the one “true” religion, worship practices, or the role of women in local marriages. It does, though, protect from discrimination persons because of their status (orientation and/or identity) as gay, transgender, divorced, inter-racially married, Muslim, Christian, or female. There is no conflict between local legal or social practices and the company’s policy of valuing diversity.

 

DO provide diversity training and educational resources on gay and transgender issues to your staff. Disseminate all statements of support from corporate headquarters.

 

DO help create a local chapter of the company’s gay and transgender Employee Resource Group (ERG) even if all of its local members identify as heterosexual. Sponsor events on the topic and network with the gay and transgender ERGs of other corporations in the area.

 

DO remember that your success in creating a safe and welcoming environment in which gay and transgender employees feel valued should not be measured by how many gay or transgender people come out. Given the hostility of the local culture, it is not likely that many gay or transgender people from that culture will feel comfortable identifying themselves. Coming out is more likely to happen with gay and transgender employees from supportive cultures who happen to be working in your office. Nevertheless, always assume that there is a gay or transgender person in your office, whether or not they self-identify.

 

DO consider sending your gay or transgender staff members and heterosexual Diversity and Human Resource professionals to the annual workplace conference of Out and Equal (www.outandequal.org) that is held in the United States. It provides education and the opportunity for networking to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and heterosexual employees from around the world. Similar conferences are held in different countries. Ask your local gay and transgender ERG leadership for guidance in finding such resources.

Often, we gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people find ourselves needing to help heterosexual colleagues better understand us. A big part of that educational process involves us coming out at work and putting a face on the issue. The following three questions from my new corporate resource for managers on gay and transgender workplace issues concern the issue of coming out.

I’m gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

 

Do NOT hide the fact that you’re gay, lesbian, or bisexual unless you feel you have no options. Incorporate your personal life into your life in the office in the same way you would if you were heterosexual.

 

Do NOT feel that being gay, lesbian, or bisexual requires you to be the “answer person” on gay issues in the workplace. You were hired because of your skills, not because you’re gay. Explain that being gay doesn’t make you an authority on gay workplace issues and request diversity training for your team from your Human Resources professional or Diversity specialist.

 

Do NOT accommodate inappropriate behavior in the office because you want to be accepted by the team.

 

DO see your sexual orientation as a gift to the company. Explore what unique contributions you have to make because of your experiences as a gay man, lesbian woman, or bisexual person. If the company is serious about valuing diversity, it feels that your diversity represents a unique value. What is it?

 

DO consider joining the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Employee Resource Group (ERG).

 

DO be aware that the messenger is the message. Like it or not, people who don’t know other gay, lesbian, or bisexual people are watching you to decide how comfortable they feel with homosexuals and bisexuals.

 

I’m transgender?

 

Do NOT accommodate inappropriate behaviors because you want to be accepted. You were hired for your skills and performance, not your gender identity or expression.

 

Do NOT feel that you have to be the “transgender answer person.” Arrange for your colleagues to participate in diversity training on transgender issues.

 

DO see your transgender status as a gift to the company. Beyond your ability to help the company market their product to the transgender community, your diversity represents a unique life perspective that the company says it values. Think about what gifts you bring to the table.

 

DO consider joining the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Employee Resource Group (ERG).

 

DO be aware that the messenger is the message. Most people do not know someone who is transgender. The transgender movement is at least ten years behind the gay, lesbian, and bisexual movement in some countries, and even less understood in other parts of the world. Like it or not, you represent all transsexuals or cross-dressers to your colleagues.

 

the company isn’t a safe place for gay and transgender employees?

 

Do NOT let it stay unsafe for your sake, for that of your gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender employees, and for that of the company’s productivity and reputation. Do something about it.

 

Do NOT assume that you are the only one who has noticed its unwelcoming atmosphere. You have allies.

 

DO speak to your Diversity or Human Resources professional about your concerns and ask for diversity training in your department.

 

DO speak up as often as you can in as many work-related situations as possible to communicate your interest in creating a safe and productive work environment. It sometimes takes just one strong-willed heterosexual ally to turn a company around.

 

DO share your feelings privately with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender employees and offer to be a source of support to them in both public and private ways.

 

DO avoid using the term “hostile” to describe the workplace, as it carries legal implications, unless of course you feel the environment is “hostile” and you are willing to say so in legal proceedings.

 

The most commonly-asked question I get from corporate senior executives regarding transgender issues is not about what bathroom the transsexual or cross-dressing individual should use. I raise the bathroom issue because I know that it will come up for them at some point in their careers. The first question, in my experience, that is asked is really "What does it all mean?" They know there is a "T" at the end of GLBT and they have heard the term "transgender," but they're grateful for any light that can be shed on their confusion as to why someone "becomes" transgender, how they are different from "gay," how common an occurence is it, and what kind of problems might they have to face if a transgender person works for them.
What follows are three questions and the responses I provided, with the help of a terrific team of consultants, four of whom are transgender, from a new corporate resource being released that is entitle The Manager's Guide on Gay and Transgender Workplace Issues. Your feedback is welcomed.

SO, WHAT IF.......?

I don’t have any gay or transgender people in my group or client base?

Do NOT make such assumptions. Even if you’re correct, which is unlikely, always assume that you do have gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people present so that your language and behavior creates a welcoming environment.

Do NOT expect that a fully-integrated transsexual will feel it necessary or useful to discuss his or her status as a transsexual. If they are seen by others as the gender with which they identify, they are generally ready to move on with their lives. They are likely not to see themselves as “transsexual,” but rather as a woman or as a man, as the case may be.

Do NOT assume that you can identify gay people. Most gay, lesbian, and bisexual people do not satisfy cultural stereotypes, and sometimes heterosexual people satisfy those gay stereotypes.

Do NOT assume that everyone who is gay, lesbian, or bisexual wants to come out. Some gay people, like some heterosexual people, are very private about their personal lives not out of fear bur rather out of personal preference.

Do NOT assume that no one in the office has a personal connection to someone who is gay or transgender, or that they would tell you about it if they didn’t think you were fully supportive.

Do NOT assume that none of your clients are gay or transgender, or have personal connections to people who are one or the other.

DO proceed as if you do have someone in your office or your client base who is gay or transgender, or who has a personal connection to a gay or transgender person, and remind your colleagues what behaviors are considered welcoming and which are considered unwelcoming.

the gay or transgender person’s job performance is the problem?

Do NOT be intimidated by the person’s minority status. If their job performance is unsatisfactory, respond as you would with anyone else. If you don’t, you’ll create resentment among the rest of the staff who will feel victimized by you and the gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person. That is not good for morale or productivity. The goal in all of the company’s diversity initiatives is equal treatment, not special treatment.

Do NOT forget that you are the person’s coach. As you would with anyone else, set aside the issues of sexual orientation, gender, race, age, religion, disability, or any other factor, treat them as adults who are expected to act responsibly, and work with them to solve the problem.

DO speak first to your Diversity and Human Resources professional to let them know what’s going on, and ask for their input on how to handle the situation.

DO speak to the individual in private, clearly state what you see as the problem, ask him or her for their perspective, tell them what you expect of them, and set up a time to meet again to evaluate their progress.

DO ask if they find the office environment to be welcoming and if they trust that you value the diversity they bring to the table.

the transgender persons wants to use the “wrong” restroom?

Do NOT do a thing until you’ve checked with your Diversity or Human Resources specialist to ascertain the company’s policy. If the company doesn’t have a restroom policy, insist that the Human Resources specialist contact a company known for its “best practices” on issues of diversity to find a restroom policy that works well for everyone. (The “best practice” in many global companies is to have the transgender person use the restroom that matches his or her current gender expression.)

Do NOT assume that you, the transgender person, and the company agree on the appropriateness of the word “wrong.”

Do NOT assume that this issue is a small, insignificant matter. The use of the sex-appropriate restroom has enormous emotional and political meaning to the transgender person, most particularly those who are transitioning as transsexuals.

Do NOT assume that this issue has no significance to others. Some women feel unsafe if there is a biological male in their restroom. This is more likely to be a concern if we’re talking about a transgender person who cross-dresses at work on occasion. It’s a different matter, for some, if the person is transsexual.

Do NOT ask a person if he or she has had surgery. That is a personal matter. The transgender person may or may not choose to share that information. But it is not helpful to make decisions about appropriate restroom use based upon those criteria, as many transsexuals opt not to have surgery for a variety of reasons, the high cost of the operations being one of them.

Do NOT ask a transgender person to use a restroom that is not conveniently located.

DO find a solution to the restroom issue that is safe, dignified, and convenient.

DO communicate to the transgender person and to your non-transgender colleagues that you understand this issue can be emotionally-charged.

DO communicate with the employee that is uncomfortable in the same restroom as a transgender person that they are being heard. Consider saying, “I understand your feelings and I want to make sure that you are comfortable using our restrooms. Like most of our competitors, our policy is that the transgender person will use the restroom that is appropriate to the gender he or she is presenting. I hope that we can work together as a team on this so that everyone in our group feels valued. Can I ask you, as a first step, to either use another restroom that is conveniently located or to try to use the restroom when your colleague who is transgender is not using it? If you continue to feel uncomfortable, we can revisit it. In the meantime, I think it would be helpful for all of us if we had some diversity training on this issue. I know that I would find it helpful.”

DO ask for help from your Diversity or Human Resources professional to explain company policy on restroom use to your staff.

DO provide diversity training on transgender issues to your staff before this issue comes up.

DO periodically check in with the transgender employee and with one or two staff members to see how the situation is going.

DO make sure that this issue doesn’t negatively impact the productivity of the office or undermine the company’s commitment to value diversity.

In the next week, I'll be sending to a small group of diversity directors, the first invitation to access our exciting new web page that provides guidance to managers who seek cultural competence on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender workplace issues.  I couldn't be happier with, or more proud of, the joint effort to create this very useful, cutting edge new resource. In the major part of the program, I offer guidance to the thirty-four most commonly asked questions on gay and transgender workplace issues. What follows is a couple more of those questions and responses. To learn more about this web site, please write to me at brian@brian-mcnaught.com.

SO, WHAT IF....?

a gay or transgender employee wants to be out and I don’t think that it’s safe?

 

Do NOT assume that what would feel unsafe for you would necessarily feel unsafe for your colleague. Tell him or her of your concern and your reasons for judging the environment to be unsafe. Ask for their assessment of the environment.

 

Do NOT make it more difficult for them to come out by suggesting that if they do so, “You’re on your own.” Instead, tell him or her that whatever they decide to do, you will back them up.

 

Do NOT assume that they want you to tell other people for them. Ask them if there is anything you can do to make it easier, including telling others for them.

 

Do NOT say “I told you so,” if things work out poorly for the colleague who is coming out. They are being harassed because of their status, not as a result of anything they are doing wrong. It is not their fault if others respond unprofessionally and in violation of corporate policies and ideals.

 

DO proactively address the conditions which prompt you to feel that it is not safe for this employee, or any employee, to be out at work.

 

DO ask for guidance from your Human Resources professional and Diversity specialist. Tell them of your concerns. See if they share your views. Come up with a strategy that supports the decision of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender colleague and promote an inclusive climate for all employees.

 

DO your best to create a safer environment by communicating clearly the company’s expectations of every employee to value diversity. Be clear of what that means in day-to-day behaviors. Tell them that such support of their gay or transgender colleague is expected inside and outside of the office, when on company business, and always with clients.

 

DO put the gay or transgender colleague in touch with the gay and transgender Employee Resource Group (ERG) for support. Encourage him or her to contact the Human Resources or your Diversity specialist for information on sources of support outside of the company.

 

DO provide diversity training on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues for your staff.

 

a gay or transgender employee tells a gay or transgender joke or uses prohibited language?

 

Do NOT encourage the behavior by laughing at the joke or indicating that the language is acceptable. Treat the situation exactly as you would if the joke or offensive language was coming from the mouth of a heterosexual or a non-transgender person.

 

Do NOT accept that the gay or transgender person telling the joke or using objectionable language, such as “fag,” “dyke,” “queer,” “homo,” “queen,” or “tranny” has license to make fun of him or herself. Their language undermines office cohesion, confuses heterosexual colleagues, and offends other gay and transgender people and those who love them. Their behavior does not represent the feelings of the company’s gay and transgender Employee Resource Group, even if it is coming from a member or officer of the ERG. Some gay and transgender people are immature and unsophisticated. Some suffer from internalized homophobia or transphobia. Being gay or transgender does not give them permission to defy the company’s efforts to value diversity.

 

DO speak up in such situations to express your discomfort and disappointment. Take the lead in showing others that this behavior or language is not acceptable.

 

DO pull the gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person aside and tell him or her what about their behavior is unacceptable and why: “It gives license to others to behave the same way and it creates a hostile working environment for others.”

 

DO report the incident to your Human Resources or Diversity specialist. Make sure that you have their support so that you don’t hear from them later that the gay or transgender person felt discriminated against or “put down.”